Sunday, September 21, 2008
Its only logical that a good religious girl, with good habits and a decent background dates a good chap. One of the significant factors in relationship formation is Similarity. We tend to be attracted to those who are similar to us,for they offer stability and predictability.
Why then do we see good girls with bad boys?
One of the main reasons for a good girl to be attracted to a bad boy is the sense of adventure she sees in him. She's always played it safe. With him, she sees another part of life that seems fun, and it's working for him--and if it works for him, she thinks it'll work for her! There are however two kinds of bad boys, there are those who like to flirt with danger, and then there are those who are just dangerous. The first type are reformable(something which good girls love to do - helping the bad boy reform) but the latter type are just plain danger.
Dissimilarity can also be attractive, particularly when the differences between the individuals are complementary. It is interesting how similiarities and differences can both be cues for attraction.
Are there any complementary differences between good girls with bad boys (vice versa), or is it just blind attraction?
What is your kind? The same type or the opposite type? :)
Whirled Through 11:02 PM
10 Comments:
i have noticed that girls look for different traits in their boys/men a different ages. this could be die to the fact that identity diffusion is playing a role in their lives as they 'try out' different things.
still it is generally true that women are attracted to 'bad boys', and it's my understanding that they do so as the motherly instinct in them seeks to change these 'bad boys'.
a man marries a woman, hoping she will never change. a woman marries a man, hoping to change him.
I think the point is that a 'bad boy' doesnt always give in to the girl as compared to the 'good boy' that is always there for her.. it doesnt give the girl a chance to miss him. Maybe thats why people play hard to get.. to create more excitement and keep their partners on their toes haha
Zed, what you said seems really true and funny.
Woman are perfect when we are dating them, after settling a bit they seem to be naggy and less accepting of our antics.
:)
I am not really sure on this subject because I have no personal experiences of my own!
I suppose why good girls like bad boys is that she envies the
freedom that the bad boy has.
She has always wanted to let her wild side loose, but is unable to do so due to societal constraints or expectations of her.
By going out with the bad boy, she is able to share the excitement and try out the kind of life that she is always thinking of. Not sure why bad boys like good girls though.
Just my 2 cents worth!
I guess it's natural most of the time to be attracted to someone who's more or less similar to you. Not that it's safe, but it's easier to feel that both of you are on the same plane. This is not always the case though, like you mentioned. And i believe that yeah, opposites do attract sometimes. It's probably got to do with the intrigue of the other's personality. And yes, some girls are attracted to the badb boys because of the sense of the adventure. I'm curious though, do good boys get attracted to bad girls? hmm..
Yeah good boys are always attracted to bad girls! I think the bad girls keeps the good guys guessing all the time, and you know what they say right, the harder a girl plays to get the crazier the guys get.
:)
Even though a good girl may date a bad boy for fun, if she's mentally stable she'll prolly marry the good guy in the end. Experimentation before final selections. :]
As to what Zed mentioned, one thing that people should always be aware of before entering marriage is to be accepting of the other partner. Don't expect that your spouse will change, because your character will remain largely stagnant throughout the years. That's why a woman hoping to change a man through marriage is lost in a futile hope.
humans crave adventure, and i think bad boys can provide that for those good girls. and yes, as kristy mentioned, girls will still usually end up with the good ones after all the fun, before settling into the mundane that is life.
as for myself, i think the same type works better. i am lazy, and getting past hurdles with someone different requires lots of energy
i would say it's not something you can generalise, like "all good girls like bad boys", but it's more of just a personal preference!
say you're something who craves excitement and adventure, you'd be attracted to a "bad boy" whom you perceive will give you that. or you could be a good girl who's trying to change your goody image by being seen with something "bad"?
maybe this is a case of "opposites attract"! the good thing about between with something different is that you each get to share your world, and it can be a good learning process. someone once said to me that you've to find someone who's unlike you, not similar, cause only then can you really say that the person's your other half; without him you wouldn't be complete.
makes a lot of sense, but if you ask me, i'd rather stick to someone with similar values and lifestyle.
In matters like these personal preferances play a huge part. And what Zed pointed out is very true as well. As they get older girl's likes and dislikes differ and change. Their expectations are change through the course of time too. Past experiences and cultural differences have a role to play as well. IF we take a look at a conservative family, we wouldm't be having such a scenario, as the girl would be bvrought up in such a manner that she would not even consider dating a 'bad boy'.
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